Thursday, March 08, 2007
Year 100, still losers.
I don't think the media has jumped all over this one yet, but the Cubs are 99 years out from their last World Series victory. This is the glorious year they choke again, be it a black cat, a goat, or a spontaneous Velociraptor attack of Kerry Wood and Mark Prior's arms. Billy Jurges, a SS in the 30's even managed to get shot by a crazy lady to provide us with the core of the story The Natural. I forget if they still have the record for never having back to back winning seasons, which was still active when Sammy Sosa could remember to speak English. So, what is one to think when this hits the news stories:

Chicago Tribune Cubs Story

"I believe this year I will win the Cy Young (Award) and I will enjoy that," he said. "And besides that, we will win the World Series. I guarantee you that. I have faith." Carlos Zambrano

Let me point out one thing that has better odds than this happening:



As for the odds of Bonds getting the home runs he needs before the All-Star break. Well, I suppose no one is testing for HGH yet. His knee injuries sound like they were the type that LeCharles Bentley of the Browns has, and the infection would eat away at the meniscus. I don't think any amounts of steroids would fix that. That said, Steroids are awesome. I think the Velociraptor ate some of Roger Clemens' stash.

~Mike

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Contributed by IHateU
7 comments
7 Comments:
Blogger Josh said...
This is good stuff. I should get you to join the music blog too - you could have your own section .. like an Onion style thing for music maybe? that'd be hot.

also i didnt even realize you could upload pictures like that through blogger - that's sweet.

(i fixed yer link)
March 8, 2007 at 7:27 PM  
Blogger Josh said...
And Barry don't need no knees to get around the bases after he hits a homerun, they could get him a wheelchair or somethin'
March 8, 2007 at 7:29 PM  
Blogger IHateU said...
Can I write long essays on how Gwen Stefani sounds like S Club 7 now, and how her and Fergie should team up so they can write the worst song ever?
March 9, 2007 at 9:38 AM  
Blogger Josh said...
yes, that's exactly the kind of thing i am looking for. do you have any ideas for a good title for this? the onion for music isnt particular creative and it might get me sued.
March 9, 2007 at 2:09 PM  
Blogger IHateU said...
To bring this back to baseball, The Cubs went from 1972 to 2004 without back to back winning seasons.

To the music, I dunno. Probably should pun some terrible trend that is occuring now. I don't pay much attention, I'm too busy watching the Disney Channel wired on hohos.
March 9, 2007 at 3:24 PM  
Blogger Josh said...
that's pretty weak. even sammy baseball couldn't save the cubs.
March 10, 2007 at 2:21 PM  
Blogger IHateU said...
Beisbool been berry berry gut 2 me.
March 11, 2007 at 1:32 PM  
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