Since I enjoyed the first needling of peoples trades, I bring Giants fans this delightful one:

(November 2003)
Joe Mauer is coming up to MLB soon, so the Twins/Giants trade:

To the Giants:
A.J. Pierzynski C, Professional Wrestler
Cash considerations or a “Player to be named” (Twins eventually sent Cash)

To the Twins:
CL Joe Nathan
LHP Francisco Liriano (SP)
RHP Boof Bosner (SP)

What the Giants got was one year of AJ, until in the 2004 offseason they signed Mike Matheny (Who hits like Ryan White lives right now) and then waived AJ. They also paid him 3.5 million dollars, while Nathan made 300,000K and the other two Bosner probably made more being a semi-high draft pick. Liriano was probably making like 10K. AJ had a shitty first month and the rest of the Giants decided he was a cancer. After that he ended up having an OK season. What else exactally do you want from the rarity that is a left handed batting catcher again?

A.J. went on to sing Journey on the Dan Patrick show with a bunch of the other retarded and lucky 05 White Sox (Magical career year for most of the Starters?) with Stabby McShanker the crazy minority manager that just loves Madonna, stabbing things, and calling Maglio Ordonez a pussy. He also managed to run to first base once in some important setting, and get punched by Michael Barrett. The Twins guys? Well uhm, one of the best closers in the league, Boof Bosner is a decent backend of the rotation starter, and Liriano could have won the Rookie of the Year last year and no one beyond Verlander fans would have batted an eye. I suppose the jury is still out on him, but his one season at near deity level at MLB with a 200+ ERA+ vs. A.J.’s one OPS+ of 85 well, which one do you want?

~Mike

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Contributed by IHateU
Thursday, May 03, 2007
One important aspect of being a baseball fan is the realization that fans of other teams are stupid and misguided. While one could make a horrible joke about Cardinal’s pitchers and Denver Broncos’ life expectancies, I’ll go the nicer route. By nicer I mean talking about how stupid your GM’s are compared to mine. Also, I’m only making fun of the other writers for now so we can get a nice rivalry going and bicker, like people are supposed to do on the internet. Wait, isn’t the internet for porn? Oh well…

Cardinals:
Mulder Trade:

FROM A’s:
SP Mark Mulder (Despite the fact that his stats were dropping, and he was frequently injured in the last year on the A’s due to a fault in his mechanics, he had the most talent of any of the A’s vaunted “Big Three,” Cardinals fan’s might remember this SEE: Body explodes)
FROM Cardinals:
SP Dan Haren (Sweet, our opening day starter)
RP Kiko Calero (Awesome, set up man)
1b/c (He’s gonna be a DH) Daric Barton. (Your best prospect)

From A’s: (2002)
CL Jason Isringhausen
From Cardinals:
1st Round, 30th Pick (SP Ben Fritz) Up and down, dependant on if his arm explodes, Doing well in AA right now
1st Round, 39th Pick (Sandwich Pick) (3b Mark Teahen) Traded in Carlos Beltran deal 3 way for Octovial Dotel

Red Sox:
From A’s: (2004)
CL Keith Foulke (Uhm, yeah)
From Red Sox:
1st Round 24h Pick (Landon Powell C) Injured but has recovered, good prospect behind Suzaki who is in AAA right now. BY KENDALL *waves*
1st Round 36th Pick (Danny Putnam OF) Playing in the majors since the A’s OF is a Triage Unit.

From A’s: (2002)
CF Johnny Damon
From Red Sox:
1st Round 16th Pick (Nick Swisher RF/CF/LF/1B) How’s Coco Crisp working out? Oh, Sorry 
!st Round 37th Pick (Steve Obenchain SP) Ok he sucks, everyone gets one. Injured and possibly dead of a Crystal Meth Overdose.

Jay Payton OF, Traded for a broken Chad Bradford (Arm Explosion) when you pissed him off.

San Francisco
FROM A’s: (2003)
Ray Durham (Taken from White Sox GM Kenny Williams for shiny beads (Jon Adkins), played on the A’s for 3 months) Helped A’s get to playoffs.
FROM Giants:
1st Round, 26th pick in 2003 MLB Draft (Brian Snyder 3B) Now a second basemen, had a good first year in 04, struggled last two years and back up to AA this year.
1st Round 33rd pick (Sandwich pick) (2B/SS Omar Quintanilla) Traded with OF Eric Byrnes to Colorado in the 2005 Season for SP/RP Joe Kennedy, and RP Jay Witasick. The point of this trade being that Beane jumped the trade market by a month and took relievers off the market one month before the non-waiver trading deadline. (Both still on the A’s, Kennedy has started and been a reliever since, Witasick out of the bullpen)

I don't want to hear anything about some McGwire trade from the Cardinals, Beane wasn't incharge for that thing. Nor any Jimmy Foxx, Lefty Grove to the Sox, or the explosion of Charles Finley in the 70's. No one is allowed to mention the Tim Hudson trade either. Jerks.

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Contributed by IHateU